Thinking Rationally
by Konotsu
Summary: Yahiko has to keep Tsubame from going after an unwanted customer. Short and funny fic.


Tsubame was at the register glaring at the customer that just took his food behind the counter. Yahiko was standing beside her.

"What's wrong Tsubame?" Yahiko asked, his voice filled with concern.

"Can I stab that ugly customer?" She retorted.

"No, Tsubame. You can't stab the customer." Yahiko answered, sighing.

"Why?" She asked in a grumpy tone.

"Because you will go to jail." He responded blatantly.

"So, I can survive jail." She shot back. Yahiko could tell that she was in one of her moods where she was sick of the customers. Especially the one that comes in all the time and calls her his 'little lady'. He could see why she would want to stab them but he was there for her to think rationally.

"No you can't. Not if your in jail for life." He responded to her phrase. She got her puppy dog face on, the one he couldn't resist. Tsubame knew that he liked her a lot, she could use that to her advantage.

"Please, can I stab the ugly male creature customer?" She whined with her hands together in a prayer.

'Male creature?…Where in the heck did she get that?' He thought in confusion. "Why do you want to stab him so badly?" He asked.

"Do I have to tell you? He comes in here everyday being rude, messy, and he has undeniably bad breath." She answered, her voice filled with frustration.

"Alright, I get the messy and rude part but the bad breath thing?"

"Yes. That is one of the reasons of why I want to stab him." Her voice sounded reasonable. But Yahiko knew that stabbing someone wasn't a very rational way to go.

"Okaaaay." He began walking away leaving Tsubame to her job. He knew she wasn't really going to through with her urge. She wasn't that crazy. A customer came up to the register and it was the one that she didn't like very much.

"Hey little lady? Can I have more soup and rice?" The customer asked smiling. As Yahiko looked at him, he could see why she didn't like him very much. He was a big hairy man about six foot with bad body odor and yellow-greenish rotting teeth. Tsubame turned to glare at the unwanted customer.

"No." She snaps. The man narrows his brows in anger.

"Why?" He asked. They could smell his foul breath from there distance.

Tsubame smiled sweetly and said, "Look in the mirror and find out."

"Tsubame." Yahiko said her name in warning. "What?" She shot, snapping her head in his direction. Yahiko grabs her arm and steers her out of the customers view.

"You cannot be mean to the customer." He warned.

"Why not?" Her dark eyes were still in a death glare.

"Because he is one of the paying customers and we need customers to keep the restaurant going." He answered, trying to reason with her.

"Not that one." She points at the ugly customer behind her.

Yahiko didn't respond for a second then sighed and said, "Yes we do. Like I said, he is a paying customer."

"Not that one, especially not **that one! **He called me 'little lady' for crying out loud." She retorted raising her voice and throwing her arms up.

"Keep your voice down, will ya?"

"Fine." She folded her arms over her chest and leaned against the wall.

"Ok, I understand. He needs to have more respect."

She stood up from leaning against the wall in surprise. "More respect? Are you kidding me? He needs more than that and I'd be happy to give it to him if you'd just let me." Yahiko could see that she wasn't happy with him or anyone at the moment. Before Yahiko could say anything more, he could hear the customer give a visible sigh showing his impatience.

"Hey little lady, where's my soup and rice?" He called impatiently. If there could be anymore death in her glare, Tsubame made it possible. She stalked over to him.

"Your. Not. Getting. Your. Food." She punctuated each word with venom in her voice. The customer eyes began to hold anger.

"Why not? I am a pay-" He began to justify himself. Tsubame huffs in frustration before cutting him off.

"I don't care if you're a paying customer, your not getting your food." She cut in to the customers sentence. The dirty man slammed his hands down onto the counter. "Why not?" He asked, his voice rising.

"Alright, you want to know why?" She asked with bits of venom and sarcasm dripping form her words.

"Yes." He snapped.

"Ok then. Because one." She holds up her index finger. "My name is not 'little lady', it is Tsubame as my name tag says. It is disrespectful to call me 'little lady'." The customer was paying very close attention to her by her tone of frustration. "Two." She held up her middle finger. "You are a messy slob who leaves your food on the tables and on the ground that my employees have to clean up. You obviously can't aim for your mouth."

"It's their-" he began to cut in. "I am not done." She interrupted with her voice rising. He fell quiet. "Tsubame, this is unreasonable." Yahiko said. She turned toward him with her flare and answered, "No it's not so let me finish." He backed away slowly and Tsubame turned back to the customer.

"And three." She held up her ring finger. Her voice was reaching a yelling point. "You have undeniably bad breath with rotting green and yellow teeth so brush your teeth or get new ones." She paused. "Ok, I'm done now." She finished with a relieved sigh.

"I think it's best if you leave now." Yahiko said politely to the customer.

He didn't leave, only said, "What about my food?" Yahiko slaps a hand over his face and shakes his head at the stupidity of the customer then looked at Tsubame. Her face was turning red to a blue shade than screams at the top of her lungs grabbing the closest and sharpest chopstick next her. She then leaped over the counter and started chasing the customer while he screamed like a little girl.

Yahiko began chasing after them.

"HELP ME!" He ran out of the restaurant and down the street all the while screaming, "AHHHHHH! HELP ME PLEASE! THERE IS A PSYCO WAITRESS CHASING ME!"

"Tsubame!" He called after her catching up with her. She was too caught up in her rage to notice him behind her. She was close to catching up to him before Yahiko jumped on her back sending her crashing to the ground with an "oomph" out of her.

"Hey, what's the idea?" She asked with her brows furrowed.

"Like I said, you cannot kill the bad customer." He answered out of breath. Turning over onto her back, she got her puppy dog face on.

"Why not?" She asked in a sweet tone.

"Don't give me puppy dog eyes. You can't handle jail." He answered still out of breath.

"Yes I can." She mumbled in a grumpy tone. Yahiko let her up before making sure she wasn't going after the customer with the chopstick. She turned toward the running customer with Yahiko grabbing her arm.

"YOU BETTER RUN! IF YOU COME BACK AGAIN, YOU WON'T SEE THE NEXT DAY!" She turned towards Yahiko smiling.

"Feel better?" He asked with one raised eyebrow.

"Much." She answered. Yahiko held out his hand and Tsubame took it. They both headed back towards the restaurant.

**It's really short but tell me what you think. Your allowed to critisize. I know it isn't that great, but it was just a short story for my own humor.**


End file.
